Karma Calling

I'm having one of those days that started just fine and then the descent began. No good reason for it and no way to escape it. Today I'm hurting. I've had several of these sorts of days this summer and I know that I just have to ride the waves until the good karma comes my way.

But, seriously, what I want right now is for Lisa to have the startling epiphany that she fucked up big time. I don't want her back ---- far from it. But I do want her to apologize to JT and me and really mean it. And most of all (perhaps worst of all) I want her to hurt with the vivid, searing hot pain that she's made us feel. I want someone to pull the rug out from under her just like she did to us.

And yeah, I know that this sentiment is pretty much going to keep the good karma that I need at bay. I know that healing isn't linear. And I know that forgiveness would make me feel better. And I know that some day all of this will happen.

But, damnit, it isn't going to be today. And I'm just so tired of feeling good for a few days and then unexpectedly hurting again.