While I am a fan of self-reflection, occasionally it lends itself to the recognition of facts that, ahem, reflect poorly on me. For example:
1. I am ridiculously pleased when my panties and bra match. And if they match my outfit, that's even better.
2. I cannot use the flame thrower to light candles or the outdoor grill. Sometimes I meet with success but, honestly, if I need to light something, I'm better off with a match. It's a hand coordination problem. No wonder I never beat JT at the Wii.
3. I'm the sort of mother who thinks I've failed if I put store-bought cookies in my son's lunchbox. Nine years of higher education; endless coursework in women's studies...but I fear I've failed Motherhood 101 if the cookies are corporate.
4. It pleases me to make my bed each morning. You could bounce a quarter off that bed when I am through. But what good comes from this skill?
5. I've been known to spend well over 15 minutes of precious morning time selecting the day's ponytail holder (which I mostly wear on my wrist....not in a ponytail at all). What is that about?
It's becoming more obvious why I haven't made the Nobel Prize committee's list of finalists.