Taking Care

JT is beginning to navigate the boundaries of his changed family. When Lisa sometimes calls to talk with him in the evening, he takes the phone and then tries to tell her about his day. He's only 6 and he's not used to carrying on a real relationship via the phone. But he tries. Afterward, he seems a bit sad and tonight he told me, "I don't know what to tell her." I told him to tell her anything that he likes and that she is just happy to hear his voice.

I don't know if that was the right answer because I honestly don't know what she expects. I have no notion how she feels about not seeing JT every day. The idea of not living with my son and not seeing him every day leaves me utterly breathless. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I would just miss him so much. I don't know how she survives.

After we had read our nightly chapter about Ramona Quimby, JT turned on his night time music and I turned out the light. Then my lovely boy curled up next to me and lay his head in my lap. I touched his face lightly and told him all the things that I love about him: his soft slightly chubby cheeks, the way he makes me laugh, his smart brain, the way he looks when he smiles, his kind heart, his big brown eyes. I also told him what a good job he does taking care of his Mama. At that, he sat right up and said, "You do a good job of taking care of me, Mama."

That brought tears to my eyes. I pulled my big boy onto my lap and we just sat there in a big hug, taking care of one another.